Category Archives: TMNT

“TMNT” (2007)


Is this the same continuity as the live action films? It’s hard to tell. Laurence Fishburne narrates the introduction, giving the backstory of the turtles and doing his best to cram all the necessary exposition into only a few minutes. 3,000 years ago, an immortal king (Patrick Stewart) inadvertently cursed his brother-in-arms to become stone statues and unleashed thirteen monsters from another dimension. Present day, Leonardo resides in Central America, protecting the innocent and thought to be a ghost. April O’Neil (Sarah Michelle Gellar) has given up journalism and now acquires ancient artifacts. Leonardo refuses to return to New York City until his spiritual journey sufficiently prepares him to assume the leadership role amongst his brothers.

Donatello works in technical support while Michelangelo entertains children at birthday parties. Raphael, who still has all those anger management issues, operates in secret as a vigilante known as “The Nightwatcher.” April is still romantically involved with Casey Jones (Chris Evans), who splits his time between assisting April and busting heads with Raphael. The immortal king is now called Winters and has April collecting the statues that were once his loyal comrades. Winters also hires Karai, daughter of The Shredder, and the Foot Clan to round up the monsters, who are all converging on New York City.

The plot seemed overly convoluted to me. Leonardo finally returns and Splinter (Mako) does his best to ease the dissention between Leonardo and Raphael, but without much success. Though they are forbidden to fight by Splinter, the turtles still get drawn into the battles between the Foot Clan and the monsters. These monsters were intended to be the basis for many legends like vampires, Bigfoot, the Loch Ness Monster, and even the Jersey Devil. This was all clarified on the DVD audio commentary. Kevin Smith voices a diner cook who witnesses the Jersey Devil inspired monster running amuck.

As per usual, Michelangelo and Donatello get shortchanged as Leonardo and Raphael bicker constantly. For once, the obligatory Raphael temper tantrum does not result him getting kidnapped. Instead, it is Leonardo who gets taken captive. The rest of the turtles, Splinter, April, and Casey storm Winter’s well protected tower for the climatic rumble with the reanimated stone statues, the monsters, and the Foot Clan. There were just too many antagonists in this movie. After the monsters are banished from our dimension, Winters is finally allowed to die, which he faces with optimism. Before Karai departs, she hints at the return of her father. A setup to a sequel that never actually materialized. Michelangelo is made to look like a fool again, having a sneezing fit after breathing in Winters’ glowing ashes. I guess that was suppose to be funny? The turtles are reunited and Raphael narrates the epilogue, not Laurence Fishburne.

My response to this CGI film was lukewarm. The story was crowded with antagonists, the animation was bleak, and I am personally tired of turtle stories focusing on nothing but Raphael’s anger issues. I felt like I was watching an 87 minute long video game cut scene. The next time the heroes in a half shell will appear on the silver screen, it will be a Michael Bay production, so we die hard turtle fans face the future with trepidation.


The Turtle Trilogy


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*2007’s “TMNT” will be it’s own retrospective as I considered that a separate entity.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: “The Great Boldini”


At some point I’ll review the three live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies and maybe even the CGI one. For now, my loyal readers will have to settle for a synopsis of an episode from the original classic animated series. I still have a fuzzy VHS copy of “The Great Boldini,” which my loving grandparents purchased for my sister and I from the Burger King Kids Club back in 1990.

I defy anyone to fight back a smile when you hear the TMNT theme music. So many fond memories of growing up with the turtles. This episode opened with Michelangelo attempting to perform magic for his three brothers. Michelangelo was my favorite of the turtles, but I went trick-or-treating as Leonardo in kindergarten because Michelangelo costumes were sold out. The turtles were joined by two kids named Zach and Caitlyn. They’re characters who I don’t really remember. The turtles then attended a magic show at a local museum, headlined by the title character, The Great Boldini. Conveniently, this event was covered by April O’Neil. The turtles wore their usual disguise of fedoras and trench coats. Boldini is revealed to be in cahoots with some gangsters in an emerald heist. The police searched all those in attendance and the turtles were discovered, but a stock Irish police officer mistook them for leprechauns.

Rat King arrived out of the blue, disturbed by the heist and demanding the emerald as restitution. The turtles were fugitives from justice while Zach and Caitlyn were pursued and captured by the villains. April and the turtles struck a deal with the police to save the kids. The climax, including a snowball fight, ensued after Rat King created a blizzard in the museum. Michelangelo proved to be the superior magician to Boldini and the emerald was recovered. The VHS also included a trailer for the first live action TMNT movie!!!

My turtle stuff…